I was asked this question very recently, but alas, I don’t think I answered it very well š
In India, if you are a girl whose age is above 23, it simply means you are ādoomedā. You are not marriage material anymore. Wow. What a great idea of patriarchy and feminism mixed together. I applaud this type of people so much.
Obviously, I got pissed within a single sec when the person sitting in front of me said that who will marry me now, I am sooo old. Damn women, even in the global age- WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!!
So the thing is, it all happened kind of weirdly. I was traveling today with my parents and extended family as I had my sister’s wedding. But when we boarded the train, some of us got scattered.
No big deal, we were all on the same train, and we will regroup at the same station a few hours later.
An old lady was sitting in front of me, with her two sons, who kind of looked like thugs to me. Anyways, after a few minutes, she began chatting to me casually. I replied to her nicely as I thought she was a nice person, man I was wrong.
She then began asking the most obvious questions you can a girl in India, she just went up straight ahead, no boundaries at all, how old are you?
I was taken aback for a few secs, why is she asking me this, she didnāt even know me. But I replied to her my not original age, I said Iām 27 (which I am not).
The look on her face was so hilarious, she was genuinely so shocked, and it was like she was vandalized.
Then she asked what do I do, again I replied totally something else. I said I write poetry, which I do but thatās not what you do in India, for a full-time profession.
The old lady flipped at that, totally. She said she had no idea what writing poetry is, or how was it an earning profession. She ranted on for so long, that I kinda wished that sleep would overcome me, but I couldnāt fall asleep. Shit. I canāt sleep during travel, thatās weird right?
She told me that I am wasting my days living alone, no one will marry me now as I am too old.
She even asked me- Who gave you the right to call yourself a poet?
The age and marriage thing didnāt hurt me as much when she commented on me being a writer as a girl. I felt so badā¦
But then I thought, it doesnāt matter what the old hag thinks. I was so pissed at her but then I thought even though we live in 21st century, there are thoughts of people who still think like her. And thereās nothing I can do about that, but o can make my parents proud who have done so much for me.
Why should I let an old hag ruin my day? After blabbing for almost 15 sec, she got up and left, when she probably realized I stopped listening to her a long time ago. Old Hag.
Donāt let other peopleās opinion effect yours, never let it people. Never.
P.S.-
I had the best day ever, the wedding was so fun, I wished my sis all the best to her new life and lots of new adventures coming ahead.
Also, my leg still hurts. While I am writing this post, I am also applying balm on my leg š
Wow..this is so relatable…being a girl in India who’s in her mid-twenties is a headache not for the girl herself but for the people around her. People just forget all business of their own and it seems the only mission of their lives is to figure out how come a girl in her twenties is not married yet? They are so shocked and paralyzed by it as if it were some existential crises! It’s both disturbing and sort of ridiculous at the same time!
Anyways, kudos to you for not wearing that old hag’s opinion because in this judgemental society, being able to avoid an opinion getting at oneself is an achievement in itself.
Btw, great blog and learnt a lot from you.. I followed you from Instagram.
keep up the amazing word.
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First of all good evening Madhurima, you literally have no idea how much your comment means to me. Thank you for taking your time out and appreciating this post.
Nowadays even though the world country is changing but it is changing at a very slow pace in my opinion. There are really some places in our own country where girls are treated very badly while their parents stand their witnessing the whole event without saying anything.
The old generation really need to change their mind set and adapt to this generations demands and values, but after all only one can hope.
Do not listen to other people’s believes, create your own girl ā¤ļøā¤ļø
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I can understand. Though I am not even and adult yet but I have some people who laugh at my poetry saying that it is meaning less. My parents are planning to get me married at a very young age. When I was 12 they said in ten years we will marry you. So I can understand not fully but yes I can cause I’m also an Indian
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Thank you so much dr, for reading this post š š
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Keep shining in your writing! What a wonderful gift to have. All is good, write a poem about her. hahahaha! That should be fun.
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I really plan to, would be so fun ri8? š
I do hope that it will š š ā¤
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Indian people are not going to change. I don’t know who gave her the right to say that you are wasting your life. Who says if a woman doesn’t have a man in her life, her life is rubbish?? That’s absolutely rubbish. Women don’t need men to make their life amazing (whiich hardly happens when people get married)
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Last line just slayed me hon, damnn ā¤ š š
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Great post pia this society is always behind the norms .A question arises why women writers are not encourged? As a writer i faced similar situation so i can relate it.
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Not a good thing to experience, but ya I understand what you went through.
Thanks for reading ā¤ ā¤ š
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Believe in yourself!! You write such amazing words and obviously you are an awesome poetšš.
Peopleās perspective changes in milliseconds. Just keep in mind that only youāll be there for you, forever. (P.S:Not to be selfish šš)
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I agree with you totally, not selfish at all ššā„ļø
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Hihi… Thank you dearšš
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welcomde honey ā¤ ā¤
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Believe in yourself!! You write such amazing words and obviously you are an awesome poetšš.
People’s perspective changes in milliseconds. We just should keep in mind that only you’ll be there for you, forever. (P.S:Not to be selfish šš)
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Such should be banished, those who put women down šš
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True!!
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That’s nasty… Every 2 in 3 girls goes through these unwanted talks… My Bestie used to say 80’s generation lived all their life under men’s domination so they themselves believe that women are meant to be live life like they lived…
May be they are just jealous seeing current generation’s social life..
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I hope this situtation changes soon, the sooner the better š
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Wow people are really ignorant!!!
Happy married life to your Sister May her home be filled with joy
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I will convey it to her, thank you š š ā¤
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You are welcome
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šš
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Oh god, how did you tolerate that lady!! I would have told her all sorts of things and screamed at her!ššš These people are just so narrow minded.
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Can’t change people like that, ki r korbo. I stopped listening to her after a while š ā¤
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This is the mature solution, yes. But I just get so angry and I can still not resort to these mature solutions of ignoring( which is the best btw) these people are the reason of the downfall of our country in a way. ššš
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Exactly, I agree with you sadly. š
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The world is filled with backward thinking people. It’s terrible that you have to endure this line of questioning and these outdated ideas. As an individual human being you can go where you want, do what you want, marry who you want, when you want and live however you want.
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You made me so sentimental, what a nice thought dr ššš
Wish more people understood this š
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Your experience moved me quite a bit. It pains me to know that such things still happen. I wish more understood, too. Peace and love to you, Pia ā¤
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That’s ok, atleast I reached to a few people with my post. That’s what matters š š
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You are genuine so angry. People say a lot of things.
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People are crap, r kichuina š
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Not everyone, but most of them are hypocrite.
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High five, exactly what I think š š
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There are so many people like her, unfortunately. I wish they could change their opinion on that
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I wish earth was easy to cope up with, but nahh š
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I wishš
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š¤š¤
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š
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Ha ha this was funny. Well I’m from South India and here also writing poetry should only be thought as a pass time and not a profession. But the age thing is different most girls here gets married after they turn 25 or 26
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Seriously???
I am coming there, wait a sec š
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He be
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Get well soon ! Take care di ! And just don’t care about the old lady , ppl come n go…. Thats random ! We can’t change the society’s mindset….. They will get into their heads soon However !
āŗļøāŗļøāŗļø
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When will our country change- I honestly have no answer, and it’s rather sad actually š¦
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You did the right thing.
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Thank you yar, I was so thrilled that I ignored her; old hag š š
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My pleasure. Have a good time
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You too dr āļøāļø
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oh….so her words have hit straight on your legs? That balm was supposed to relieve you from the pain appearing some where else after listening to that usual stuff from people who grow up just to get married, have kids and pass on the routine to the next generation…but then it is in no way affecting anything….the GenNext seems to be okay with any thoughts…and the marriage is more a settled affair….
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Although I absoluteeeeeely agree with you, I was in pain coz I was at my sister’s wedding, and I had to stand and work a lot for 5 or 6 hours straight.
Weddings in India are so crazy, it’s both amazing and traumatic at the same time š
Traumatic-coz the bride has to leave her home and move to a new “happy future home” š§
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He he i know how much we have got to work….its really annoying yaar !š„
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Kya kar sakte hai aur, but ya. I ignored her for the rest of the trip, so that’s satisfying a bit ā¤
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Yaa di i understand that…š„ However weddings are fun šš She deserves it !š”
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Weddings are craaaazy š š
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the concept of bride leaving home is still not understood by me….probably that is made default by our society….the best is when both the bride and the groom walk out and settle at a third place….both will be equally uncertain….
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Yes, I too want this.
But UNFORTUNATELY, our parents never understood this concept š
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….and the society in large…..
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Oh dear! That’s horrible, nasty and premitive! She was such a jerk!
I would surely give you a hug if I was there.
I’m 30 and not married. Just read recently that the a woman just passed the record for marrying someone at 90 and something. So what?
What if you were a widow? Couldn’t you be single now?
I think that she doesn’t know how to read or write. Because she wouldn’t be sexist by saying that a woman can’t be a poet. You were right not to pay her any attention. Be who you are and be proud of it!
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In our country, poeple will judge you within 3 secs only, and it’s soo bad hon.
Anyways, I opened ,y spotify playlist and ignored her pretty much. š š
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š±š
Good girl š
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I try š
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Hahaha.. “Aunties” and their weird ideologies!
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Abhi unka time hai š
hum kya kar sakte hai, lol š š
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Hahaha.. #apnaTimeAyega! š š
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ABSOLUTELY š š
#waitinghardstyle
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LOL š š š
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Sadly that’s the mentality of many people here…
I like your not-affected-by-their-opinion attitude!
And… Take care! š
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Thanks for the wish dr Vrunda, spotify saved me actually š š
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I have a simple motto:
Why do you care about ‘log kya kahenge’?
Do the ‘log’ pay your bills?
Do they even matter?
Then, just don’t listen to them!
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I was being polite at first, but then she pissed me off. And then Spotify came to rescue š š
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Old hag was lit š
And yeaa we are weird , as I to won’t get a sleep during travel š¤
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YAAA exactly, I can’t sleep either while traveling
š¦
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Same pinch !!
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Is that weird?
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Yeah sometimes it can be wen we have old weird hag in front of us to eat our ears š¤š¤
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Ha wo to hai. š š¤£
Actually, not sleeping while traveling has other benefits too, no one will steal your bags or shoes, so that’s a good thing š
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Lol yeah on point !! šš
So feel proud to say that I sleep while traveling š
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you do !!!! how š¦
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Sorry yaar means feel proud to say that I don’t sleep while traveling ,
I was in sleepy moode wen I typed that cmnt datsy š
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So many people are just victims of their conditioning. They’ve never questioned them for a second. They’ve enslaved themselves to certain mindsets. It’s awesome that you refuse to let her mindset enslave yours. By the way, you’re a poet simply because you say you are. You need no other justification.
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You made my day, dr Ray.
Thank you for such wonderful thought.
I didn’t pay any attention to her later on the journey. Spotify was there for me when no one else was š ā¤ š
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Great post
Please write more personal touch waala posts
Love it š
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Thank yoi Unni Ji, hehe
will do š
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Superb
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Based on trueeee event š š
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ššš
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Haha, well, it’s never an easy task to brave Indian “aunties”.
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I never could, so…. you get the idea š š
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Great one Pia š
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Thank you Anish, it’s a true event though š
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Don’t follow what the others do.
And definitely don’t listen to the people who don’t do what you do, they don’t have any idea what you are upto.
And good going.
All the best to your future endeavours.
Believe in self.
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Thank you for reading Bhanu, Happy MAHASHIVARATRI š š ā¤
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Great post š
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Thanks dr, means a lot you liked this one š š
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No problem š check out my blog when you get the chance š
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Absolutely š š
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