The things that make me ‘me’

• I trust too easily.
I fall too hard.
I forgive in an instant, if I love them.
I am ready to get past the bad thing you have done.
In this world of e-books, I still like the heavenly scent coming off from new books.
What more do you need to see whether I am plastic or real?

•Did you call me fake, why?
Because I couldn’t wear those revealing dresses that you bought me? Or the fact makes you nauseated that I don’t drink or inhale cocaine off the coffee table with your friends.

•Remember the time when you ate more than half of my Piri Piri fries, and then acted as if wasn’t a big deal? It wasn’t until you pointed out that they are bad for health and then shoved a handful shamelessly in your mouth in front of our friends. It’s the little things that makes difference….the little things.

• There was a time when I loved late-night rides, you, me and rushing of air through the rolled down windows and nothing more was ever needed at that moment. We were finally at peace.
One night when we were returning home from a party, you parked the car near a deserted roadside and called me outside. You gently lifted me and made me sit on the bonnet. I was adoring this new playful side of you but that changed vividly moments later. Your musky scent was driving my mind crazy as your lips inched closer towards my jaw.
‘When was your first kiss’? He asked me in a hushed whisper while he gently slipped his hands under my skirt. I was speechless for the moment being, but I gathered all my attention to his voice and replied- ‘When I was in class 12 actually’. Suddenly the air around us changed I felt a sharp pain on my bare thighs. ‘I am not your first kiss? Wow, what a slut you are’. He dug his fingernails on my thighs while I was pleading for him to stop.
I don’t remember the time when we reached home, but I do recall sleep eluded me entirely that night.

• I thought I knew all about abusive relationships before I found myself in the middle of one. I thought I was too smart to get involved with someone who would hurt me physically and mentally. I thought I knew what to look for and that it would be so obvious that I needed to walk away.
And finally, I did, it wasn’t an easy road but it was a decision which I had to take, putting myself first.

How can you be so oblivious to someone’s feelings? The things that made me ‘me’, were the same things that you fell in love with. What happened to them? Over time, everything fades, and you can’t do shit about it.

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12 thoughts on “The things that make me ‘me’

  1. That’s how ppl change, it’s so easy for some and illogical for me and you …
    And i want to apologise, last time i suspected you of taking someone’s piece so i’m sorry about that but just know it was just that one bcs it had the same feel but other than that i love your pieces 💖🙈

    Liked by 1 person

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