What does hope look like?

This one means a lot to me, kind of got emotional towards the end. Let me know how was this for you, cheers guys ❤ ❤

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Hope looked like red.
As my father laid on uneven ground,
Blood seething from his gunshot wound,
While he slumped in a puddle of red liquid,
Looking towards my mother
Who was being beaten by villagers,
For committing the mistake of marrying,
An Outer cast.
Hope looked like orange.
Being raised by a single mother,
I was told never to trust anyone, never.
Pretty boys desired bad girls,
And I shouldn’t be one. I was told to stay away from boys.
I agreed, nodding my head knowing what mother was saying,
It was the first day of school, mother pinned a white flower upon my ponytail,
It was my favourite flower, but someone forcefully yanked it from me.
Upon protesting, the group of mean boys threw me in mud,
And told me I was the daughter of a low caste born.
My orange dress was ruined.
Hope looked like brown.
Brown was the colour of his eyes,
of the boy who took my virginity away
and made me believe it wasn’t just amorous love.
and like the fool that I was, I believed his lying tongue
rather than his truthful brown eyes.
I never let go of Hope, I held it close,
someday, it wouldn’t hurt anymore.
Someday the pain will dull down and vanish for good.
Hope looked like black,
When unknown men groped my body in the train on my way home.
It rendered me numb, I was silent till the last stop,
But then something clicked in me,
I stomped on one of the guy’s feet with my stiletto as hard as I could,
But it just gave him the spark he needed
To fire up his assault.
He wore a black that day, and somewhere deep down,
I searched for the tiny ray of hope,
that had abandoned me a long time.
Hope looked like a white.
The day mother died, everything changed.
The only person who ever stood by me was gone now.
After decades of surviving abuse and humiliation,
My only ray of light was now extinguished.
The molecules of my soul were slowly losing their bonds,
unable to hold each other any longer.
But now? Red looks good running down my skin that is
I shouldn’t cut
but, I need release.
Hot tears threaten to escape
One slit, then two
That familiar sting, that familiar red
and finally those uncontrollable sobs.
Hope looked like a sky full of rainbow,
So many pretty colours,
But I realized in the end, they were not for me.
I don’t know, maybe I am right, maybe I am wrong,
But after today, there won’t be any way to know.
Goodbye…